National Stalking Awareness Week: What We See at PEGS

Trigger warning: This blog mentions stalking and harassment. Please take care as you read and pause if you need to.

During National Stalking Awareness Week, there is often more space to talk about stalking in relationships or by strangers. But what is still far less understood and far less spoken about, is how these behaviours can exist within families.

Here at PEGS, we hear from many parents, carers and guardians who are feeling watched, controlled and unsafe in their own homes. These experiences don’t always fit people’s expectations of what abusive behaviours “should” look like, and that alone can make them even harder to recognise.

For some parents, carers and guardians, it can begin with what may seem like constant questioning…

“Where are you going?”

“Why are you going there?”

“Who are you with?”

Or persistent messages that feel difficult to step away from.

But when we look more closely at what many families are experiencing, it is often far more complex than this.

At PEGS, we hear how digital abuse can play a significant role in stalking and harassment within CPA. Parents describe phones being tracked or interfered with and messages becoming more frequent and persistent. Social media is also something many families speak about. We have heard experiences of fake profiles being created to monitor activity, maintain contact, or continue patterns of control.

Over time, these behaviours can build, leaving parents feeling watched, overwhelmed and unsure how to create space for themselves in their own home.

If this feels familiar, you are not alone.

These behaviours are not always recognised as stalking or harassment when they happen within a parent - child relationship. But for the parents experiencing them, the impact can be deeply impactful. What makes this even more complex is the emotional landscape parents are navigating at the same time. 

In our recent survey, 29% of parental figures told us they were being tracked by their child. For many, this is not a one off incident and the true number will not be known.

Many parents tell us that one of the hardest barriers to reaching out is the fear of not being believed. There can be worry about being judged, or about what might happen to their child if they speak openly. Some have already tried to share their experiences, only to have them minimised or misunderstood.

If you are reading this and recognising parts of your own experience, you don’t need to have all the answers today and that there is support available. There are many fantastic organisations who can support you if you feel you need support:

Paladin National Stalking Advocacy Service works with people experiencing stalking to help them understand risk and explore options for staying safe. 

You can visit their website by clicking here.

Suzy Lamplugh Trust provides resources and runs the National Stalking Helpline, offering advice and support to those affected.

Suzy Lamplugh Trust defines stalking as 'A pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour which is repeated, persistent, intrusive and causes fear of violence or engenders alarm and distress in the victim.’ 

If this is something you are experiencing, you can contact the National Stalking Helpline for advice and support on 0808 802 0300 or visit their website by clicking here.

The helpline offers:

• practical information
• support and advice on risk
• safety planning and legislation

Please remember, you are not alone - PEGS is here to support you every step of the way, for as much as you need.