When we talk about child-to-parent abuse (CPA), most people think of shouting, threats and physical assaults. But there’s many forms of abuse that often go unseen.

We have heard over the past five years from thousands of parents, carers and guardians who are experiencing financial abuse from their child and many may not even know they are experiencing this form of abuse. Our recent findings on a report on child to parent abuse revealed that 82% of parental figures are being financially controlled in some way from their child. With also adding the 69% Being stolen from.

What do we mean by financial abuse ?

Financial abuse in CPA, is when a child regardless of their age ,uses money as a tool of control, manipulation, or harm against a parental figure. This can take many forms, including:

• Demanding or stealing money from a parent or guardian
  
  
• Using threats or emotional blackmail to get access to money
  
  
• Running up bills in a parent’s name, or taking loans without consent
  
  
• Refusing to contribute financially as an adult child, while using intimidation to stay in the home
  
  
• Sabotaging a parent’s job or income, making them financially dependent
  
  

Parents often describe feeling trapped and caught between the fear of their child’s reaction if they do not comply with their child demands, or they  will preempt being asked for money so they will send their child money first to avoid any incident, this is financial coercion and control and is never okay.

Financial abuse carries a unique shame. Unlike physical abuse, there are often no visible signs. Parents may feel embarrassed, blaming themselves for “failing” to control the situation or how they fear they or someone else they love and care about would be hurt in some way if they do not hand over money, access to bank accounts or savings some parents tell us how  they do not want to get their child into trouble. This can leave parental figures further isolated and at risk. 

Parents have told us how they:

• Have had their bank accounts emptied by their child
  
  
• Are too afraid to confront their child about missing money
  
  
• Have lost their jobs due to financial manipulation and control
  
  
• Feel intense guilt for trying to set financial boundaries

• Have found themselves in debt due to experiencing financial control from their child

• Have had online accounts such as shopping, catalogues, computer games,  created in their name and attached to their bank account or credit cards   

• Have been forced or coerced to buy drugs or alcohol for their child
  
  

It can be really difficult to identify financial abuse from a child towards a parent. Some signs that financial abuse could be occurring can include:

• Missing personal possessions.

• Unexplained lack of money or inability to maintain lifestyle.

• Unexplained withdrawal of funds from accounts.

• Adding a child to their bank accounts , giving them access to their money including savings 

• Accounts being created your name without your knowledge or consent 

• Debt collectors turning up or letters being sent for a debt you have no knowledge of but is in your name

• Power of attorney or lasting power of attorney (LPA) being obtained after the person has ceased to have mental capacity.

There are some fantastic and specialist organisations alongside PEGS who can help support you if you are experiencing financial abuse:

1. Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA) / Money Advice Plus Financial Support Line

Specialist helpline for victims of domestic and economic abuse.

Calls are free (0808 196 8845, Mon–Fri 9 am–1 pm & 2–5 pm) theguardian.com+6survivingeconomicabuse.org+6survivingeconomicabuse.org+6.

2. Money Advice Plus

Offers free, confidential debt and benefits advice, including targeted case support moneytothemasses.com+9survivingeconomicabuse.org+9moneyadviceplus.org.uk+9.

3. StepChange Debt Charity

Unlimited, free debt advice via phone (0800 138 1111) and online tools england.nhs.uk+8stepchange.org+8moneytothemasses.com+8.

4. Citizens Advice

Free advice on debt, benefits, housing, employment, and more via phone, webchat, or in‑person at local branches england.nhs.uk+15which.co.uk+15en.wikipedia.org+15.