Guest Blog: Working Families - 'Caring in a crisis: Options for taking the leave you need.'

Caring in a crisis: Options for taking the leave you need.

Family life can be incredibly tough. When faced with a crisis, there may be times you need to take time off unexpectedly. Sometimes, family circumstances mean you just need to spend more time away from work. If your role currently doesn’t allow any flexibility to manage these situations, don’t panic, there are other options available to you. It’s always a good idea to be aware of your employment rights before the time comes when you may need to exercise them.

Emergency time off for dependants

From the first day as an employee, you have the right to take unpaid time off work to manage certain situations affecting your dependants. Sometimes this is called ‘Time off for Dependants’ or ‘Emergency Family Leave’ and it is aimed at dealing with emergencies.

The time you take should be deemed necessary and reasonable. But it’s always worth checking your employment contract or leave policy, as employers may give more generous emergency family leave than the statutory minimum.

Our advice would be to approach your employer to explain your situation to determine the most appropriate type of leave available. They may be able to offer you a paid alternative, or an alternative that allows you more time off.

You can read more about the details of this type of leave here: https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/time-off-for-dependants-leave/

Parental Leave

Parents of children under 18 can take unpaid parental leave if they have been with their employer at least a year. Parents can take up to a total of 18 weeks altogether for each of their children before the child is 18, and it is limited to four weeks a year. Although you can be expected to give 21 days’ notice, it’s always worth discussing with your employer whether you can take this at short notice if needed.

Employers can require parents taking parental leave for non-disabled children to take it in blocks of a week. Parents taking parental leave for a disabled child (who is entitled to Disability Living Allowance or Personal Independence Payment) can take it in blocks of a day.

Your employer cannot refuse you leave or penalise you for taking parental leave, but there are circumstances in which employers can postpone parental leave.

Flexible Working Request

Having a flexible working arrangement can help you cope with the ebbs and flows of family life, as well as manage work in a crisis.

Although hybrid and remote working are the most common, there are countless ways to work flexibly, the beauty of which is there is always a type of flexible working that will fit your role. Reduced or compressed hours, changing start and finish times, term-time or annualised hours, flexitime, job share – the list goes on. There’s no one way to work flexibly, instead it’s best achieved with a solution that is tailored to both your needs, and the needs of your employer.

You have the right to request flexible working if you have been in your role for 26 weeks, and from next year when new legislation comes into effect, you will be able to request flex from day one, and make multiple requests a year.

We have wealth of resources here on how to negotiate and make a flexible working request, as well as what to do if a request is turned down. If granted, a flexible working request is permanent, so make clear if you only need temporary support. https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/flexible-

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August Spotlight: Verbal Abuse

By PEGS Admin • August 19, 2025

When Words Hurt – Facing Verbal Abuse from Your Child There are few things more emotionally painful than hearing cruel, dismissive or demeaning words from your own child. Whether they’re still under your roof or are well into adulthood, being spoken to in a verbally abusive way by the very person you raised with love and care can leave parents feeling confused, heartbroken and alone. It's not something we often talk about openly. Parents may fear being judged or blamed or they may question whether their experience is even valid. But verbal abuse from a child whether they’re 14 or 40 - is real and it matters. If you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of shouting, insults, blame or emotional manipulation from your child, this space is for you. You are not alone. Verbal abuse can take many forms and not all of them are loud or obvious. Some common examples include: Repeated criticism or personal attacks Name-calling, sarcasm or mockery Shouting or aggressive tone Gaslighting or manipulation (“You’re imagining it” / “You always make it about you”) Blame-shifting and emotional guilt trips Intimidating silence or threats These behaviours, especially when ongoing, can leave emotional bruises that are hard to explain to others or even to ourselves. For many parents, the verbal abuse doesn’t start all at once. It might begin as eye-rolling, snide remarks or even sudden mood swings. But over time, those moments become more frequent, more intense, more targeted. The home no longer feels like a place of peace. Interactions start to feel unsafe. “She speaks to me like I’m her enemy. I raised her with love, but now I feel like nothing I do is ever right in her eyes” -Mum to a 17-year-old daughter “I dread phone calls from my adult son. He rings only to shout and unload on me. I hang up shaking every single time” -Dad of a 33-year-old son “My teenager calls me names I wouldn't repeat in front of anyone. It’s like living with someone who hates me,I feel ashamed saying that” - Parent of a 15-year-old “I never thought I’d have to protect myself emotionally from my own child. But here I am trying to keep my boundaries and stay sane” - Mum to a 28-year-old daughter These words reflect a growing reality for many families... a reality that often gets hidden behind closed doors. When verbal abuse comes from a stranger it’s unpleasant. When it comes from your own child , the one you’ve fed, cared for, worried over, and loved unconditionally - it can feel like a betrayal. Parents often experience a mix of emotions: Shock and disbelief – “How did it get to this?” Shame – “Am I the only one dealing with this?” Guilt – “What did I do wrong?” Fear or anxiety – Dreading the next conversation or interaction Loneliness – Feeling unable to share the experience without judgement You may also feel torn between wanting to keep the connection and needing to protect your emotional wellbeing. It’s often assumed that once children reach adulthood, their relationship with their parents will naturally shift into one of mutual respect. But this isn’t always the case. Some adult children continue (or begin) to speak to their parents in ways that are controlling, hurtful or emotionally volatile. These interactions may be laced with some kind of resentment, blame for past decisions or expectations of endless emotional or financial support. In these situations, many parents struggle with a sense of powerlessness. After all, you can’t “ground” a 30-year-old. But your emotional safety still matters and it’s okay to acknowledge when something isn’t right. You can love your child deeply and still feel the pain of being treated unkindly. You can want healing and still need space. You can seek support without shame. Even in the face of verbal abuse, your worth as a parent does not diminish. You are still deserving of respect, of peace and of a life where you’re not walking on eggshells in your own home or heart. If your child is speaking to you in ways that hurt. If you feel exhausted, blamed or disrespected, you are not overreacting. If you find yourself dreading their calls or presence, you are not alone. You can love your child and still take care of yourself. You are worthy of respect. You are allowed to feel safe. And you are not alone.