CPA or Challenging Behaviour?

Sam Brown • August 23, 2023

CPA or Challenging Behaviour? The differences and similarities

Child to Parent Abuse (CPA) is a form of domestic abuse that unfortunately isn’t always given the attention it needs. Forms of abuse such as intimate partner abuse and parent to child abuse tend to be focused on far more seriously than CPA. This then leads to misconceptions and a general lack of understanding regarding what CPA is. It is important to note that knowledge of this particular type of abuse is in its infancy. This makes it difficult for many people to pinpoint the difference between CPA and the typical challenging behaviours that most children are expected to display at some point in time. It is also important to note that there are various issues that a child could be going through that add further complexity when it comes to being a parent.


 CPA comes in an array of different forms; verbal, physical, emotional, financial, coercion & control, digital and sexual. When offering support to parents and caregivers, we look at a variety of factors, such as the frequency and intensity of incidents.


97% of the parents we support tell us that they have had to change their routine and lifestyles to reduce the risk of abusive behaviour occurring. Parents feel like they are walking on eggshells around their child, living in constant fear of an incident of abuse occurring. CPA leads to parents feeling isolated from loved ones.

 

Of the working parents we support, 74% have been forced to either leave work or reduce their hours. Parents can be subjected to daily or weekly physical attacks, intimidation and verbal abuse. This often leads to multiple calls for help to both the police and professionals who work within the family sector.


We understand that a child’s challenging behaviour can be very difficult and often unpleasant for a parent to deal with. However, it is pivotal that we don’t confuse CPA with challenging behaviour that is often common in children and adolescents.


If you are a parent or caregiver who is struggling as a result of your child’s challenging behaviour, there are a variety of services out there who can provide you with the necessary support. We do all that we can to help parents, but only ones who are strictly experiencing abuse from their child, not challenging behaviour.

 

Below is a diagram with some examples of abusive behaviour, challenging behaviour and behaviour that could be abusive OR challenging depending on the particular circumstance. It is important to note that this diagram isn’t exhaustive, this is a very light touch overview of the difference between what we consider challenging and abusive. We hope that this has provided you with an overview of the key differences between the two types of behaviour, and encourage you to get in touch with us if there is any further information you require.


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Child to Parent Abuse organisation founder awarded MBE The founder of a social enterprise which has supported thousands of parents impacted by abusive behaviours from their children has been awarded an MBE. Michelle John, originally from Pembrokeshire in Wales but now based in Shropshire, was among the names announced for the prestigious accolade in the King’s Birthday Honours List this year. In 2020, Michelle set up not-for-profit organisation PEGS with the aim of supporting parents and carers, training professionals, influencing local and national policy, and raising awareness of Child to Parent Abuse – which is thought to affect up to one in ten households in the UK. Since then, she has grown a team of experts who have trained police, social workers, teachers and many other professionals to better recognise the signs of CPA, support parents, and signpost to specialist organisations. In addition, Michelle set up a range of parent-focused initiatives including daily practitioner-led online sessions, a Facebook peer support group which now has 3,300 members, and one-to-one offerings for those at highest risk. PEGS launched a CPA Covenant for employers in partnership with the Department for Work and Pensions, only the fourth such covenant to be backed by the Government, and Michelle has advised everyone from the Home Office to Channel 4 and the BBC on CPA – the latter for storyline on Hollyoaks and EastEnders. Her work has seen CPA covered by journalists across television news programmes, national newspapers and magazine, and regional press and radio, and she’s received numerous awards both in the UK and internationally. Michelle, whose MBE was awarded for Family Support and Advocacy, said: “This honour is also shared with the parents who have trusted me along the way: they drive me, inspire me and I will always stand with them. “I feel proud, privileged and very grateful – and I’d like to thank everyone who has supported me and PEGS along the way. There is much more to come for PEGS, and we will continue to work every day for the parents and carers who have been or continue to be impacted by CPA. “There is so much to reflect on from the journey of the last six years, and there have been many highlights and challenges along the way. I am sure there will be many more in the future – although being told I’d received an MBE will always remain a truly incredible moment that I’ll remember forever!” For more information about us, visit www.pegsupport.co.uk or search for 'PEGS' on social media!
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