PEGS enters 2nd year of Lottery funding

Michelle John • Aug 11, 2023

PEGS enters its second year of Lottery funding, a message from our founder, Michelle.

As PEGS starts its second funded year of providing support to parents, carers and guardians, we wanted to share the highs, the difficulties and everything in between from year one.

This project has seen so much growth and learning and we as an organisation are so grateful and thankful to the Lottery for investing and believing in us and our vision. At the time we were a relatively new organisation with limited experience of the funding and grant world as well as delivering our front-line services, so to receive such a large fund, despite being early on in our journey was exciting and certainly greatly needed, as well as being daunting if not slightly scary.

This project has enabled us to open a new office in Bretby Business Park, Derbyshire and employ more staff (including apprentices) all of whom are local to the area, meaning we have helped local employment grow too. We have a service manager, a referral team and a practitioner team along with social media support who complement the existing team in Shrewsbury.

We have had to pivot at times especially when demand was incredibly high, being able to adapt in this way has really helped us to learn and respond when needed. Our incredible team who are doing the do, often share their thoughts and suggestions which means they too are actively involved with the running of PEGS and our services and being the voice of those who need us.

These past 12 months have seen us increase our suite of services and access to our practitioner team, it has enabled us to deliver multiple workshops, programmes and bespoke support which includes advocacy. We have been able to introduce a virtual drop in provision for professionals so that we can offer support and guidance to them too.

Our reach has excelled and we have been so lucky to connect with others outside of the UK and we are especially proud of our connections with Tabitha at Parent Real Talk and supporting her with her journey in America which has seen the initial steps of CPA being recognised in the state of Michigan. You can read more about this at the bottom of the page.

We have built some amazing friendships along the way and the support these individuals, organisations and the media show us is simply incredible – we are so thankful to the friends of PEGS who help us to continue our work whilst also raising the awareness of Child to Parent Abuse.

Right at the heart of all that we do are the parents, carers and guardians. We continue to ask them what they need or want from PEGS, ensuring that they have a voice in the support they access. PEGS will not be right for everyone and that’s okay, what matters is those who need support are able to access it in a way that works for them and their families without them having to meet criteria or have added pressure of trying to find funds to pay for help.

I set PEGS up not knowing what it would be, I just knew there had to be change, change can start with anyone of us at any time, scary – yes, unknown – yes but the passion I have to create change is what drives this forward. What we feed will grow, fear or faith? We get to choose and I choose FAITH. Having people who believe in me, my vision and want to come on the journey with us as a team has been nothing short of phenomenal. My 3 year ago self, during her time of need, thanks everyone for taking a chance, for standing alongside her and for believing in her.

To the National lottery, especially Amanda who has held our hand over these past 12 months, thank you just doesn’t seem enough – ‘ Funding is more than just money, it is directly changing lives ‘.

CPA recognised in Michigan.

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Grandparents can be abused too.

By Amanda Warburton-Wynn • 03 May, 2024

'Oh, we love having the grandchildren, especially because we can give them back!' How many times have you heard that? But have you heard 'We dread our grandchild coming to visit, we never feel safe until they've gone home'? Child to Parent Abuse is increasingly a topic of research but there is currently no formal definition and, if the consultation carried out by the Home Office in 2023 results in one, it's likely that grandparents won't get a mention in the main title. Of course, the age of grandparents can vary hugely but for those in the older age groups abuse from a child can be hard to understand and even harder to speak about. Whilst in many cases abusive behaviours are not linked to a health or mental health issue, some of the diagnoses involved in some cases of child to parent abuse weren't known until fairly recent times – ADHD was first recognised when mentioned in a National Institution of Clinical Excellence (NICE) report in 2000! Children who we now categorise as being victims of abuse and trauma were often just seen as 'naughty' back in the day and their behaviour needed to be dealt with by punishment. It's essential that we now recognise when children are asking for help – even if that is demonstrated by negative behaviours – but the impact of these behaviours on the whole family needs to be considered. Information Now say that In the past two generations, the number of children being cared for by their grandparents has increased substantially from 33% to 82% - almost two-thirds of all grandparents regularly look after their grandchildren. The UK Government add that 41% of mothers are working full time so it's clear that grandparents are spending more time with their grandchildren than ever before. There are myriad reasons for this including the changing demographics of an ageing population where many grandparents are now more physically active so spending time with grandparents can be more fulfilling than in the past (anyone else remember sitting in silence listening to the adults talk and drink team and hoping it would be time to go home soon?) But for all those positives, abuse of older people is a negative that's featuring more and more in research and in the news. Whilst several studies on both domestic abuse and elder abuse victimisation have reported that adult sons or grandsons, and a smaller proportion of adult daughters or granddaughters, are perpetrators in around half of all abuse against older adults (see Bows et al . 2022), there is little research into abuse by grandchildren who are aged under 18. One reason for this is likely to be the reluctance, by family members, professionals and society as a whole, to label children as 'perpetrators' or 'abusers Parents experiencing abuse from children have told PEGS that the abuse most commonly starts before the age of six and often continues post the child turning 18. It is probable that some children who display abusive behaviours towards parents will also abuse their grandparents but it's possible that some children abuse grandparents only. What is pretty much definite is that grandparents will feel the same emotions as parents if a child is abusing them – shame, guilt, worry about consequences of speaking out and concerned about causing problems within the family, especially if they appear to be the only targets of the abuse. It's also common to look for a reason for the abuse, something that has happened to the child perhaps or something that the grandparent has/hasn't done and to try to rationalise the abuse. As well as more research, there needs to be more recognition from organisations working with older people – statutory and voluntary – that Child to Parent Abuse can and does include children abusing grandparents and those grandparents need support. Abuse from a child is often no less dangerous than abuse from an adult so it shouldn't be laughed off or seen as grandparents not having enough 'control' over their grandchildren. More awareness of the issue, more open discussions and acknowledgement of the impact of this type of abuse will hopefully lead to appropriate support for grandparents who come forward to ask for help, and more of them doing so. Amanda Warburton-Wynn is an independent researcher and consultant specialising in support for domestic abuse and sexual violence survivors with disabilities and older people. You can find out more about Amanda and her work on her website www.awdaconsultancy.com