16 Days of Activism - Day 8

16 Days of Activism - Day 8 - AGE UK

PEGS Admin • Nov 30, 2023

At the beginning of last year’s 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, the ONS published the first data on victims of domestic abuse of all ages, having removed the upper age limit of 74 years. Sadly, this data showed that 1 in 30 people aged 60 to 74 and approximately 1 in 50 people aged 75+ have been subjected to domestic abuse in the previous year. We know with limited data this is likely to be an underrepresentation of the actual scale of the problem.

At Age UK, year on year, we are hearing from increasing numbers of older people telling us they are being subjected to domestic abuse.

Like younger people, for older people this may be physical, sexual, emotional, or economic, or a combination of all. Those who harm, will use a range of behaviours to exert power and control. But there are also some important age-related differences that specifically affect victim-survivors as they age.

For example, older people are just as likely to be abused by an adult child or grandchild as they are a spouse or partner. Many older people subjected to abuse have a health condition or disability, which may mean they rely on the person harming them, for care and support.

Older people may face several barriers to seeking and accessing support. This can be due to a range of factors, including a lack of awareness among health and social care professionals. Tools used by professionals to assess risk of domestic abuse are often aimed at younger women and intimate partner abuse, and don’t consider the specific risk factors affecting older people and adult-child to parent abuse.

Older people with disabilities, or those from LGBTQ+ and ethnic minority backgrounds, may face further barriers due to a lack of appropriate services, community barriers, discrimination, or a reliance on carers. And the cost of living crisis may leave older people more isolated and make it more difficult to leave where they share a home, with the person harming them.

Older mothers specifically may have internalised victim blaming language, feeling a sense of shame, wishing to protect their family members.

Age UK signposts to a range of specialist domestic abuse services including PEGS on their dedicated Age UK Domestic Abuse Page

Age UK has also joined Employers Initiative on Domestic Abuse (EIDA), a network of employers committed to supporting their employees who are or have been subjected to domestic abuse. At Age UK we have created a culture where employees are able to access domestic abuse awareness training, specialist information, and use their work equipment to empower them to find support safely. If our employees have increased awareness for themselves and each other, this will enable them to recognise the signs and support the older people Age UK is here for.

Our safeguarding team’s domestic abuse lead speaks at conferences and events, amplifying the voices of older victim-survivors of domestic abuse, ensuring that child to parent abuse is included in the conversation.

This work educates professionals who work with older people to recognise the subtle signs that an older person may be subjected to domestic abuse, and empowers them to confidently reach in and ask appropriate, sensitive questions.

Carrie Bower - Domestic Abuse Lead

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Grandparents can be abused too.

By Amanda Warburton-Wynn • 03 May, 2024

'Oh, we love having the grandchildren, especially because we can give them back!' How many times have you heard that? But have you heard 'We dread our grandchild coming to visit, we never feel safe until they've gone home'? Child to Parent Abuse is increasingly a topic of research but there is currently no formal definition and, if the consultation carried out by the Home Office in 2023 results in one, it's likely that grandparents won't get a mention in the main title. Of course, the age of grandparents can vary hugely but for those in the older age groups abuse from a child can be hard to understand and even harder to speak about. Whilst in many cases abusive behaviours are not linked to a health or mental health issue, some of the diagnoses involved in some cases of child to parent abuse weren't known until fairly recent times – ADHD was first recognised when mentioned in a National Institution of Clinical Excellence (NICE) report in 2000! Children who we now categorise as being victims of abuse and trauma were often just seen as 'naughty' back in the day and their behaviour needed to be dealt with by punishment. It's essential that we now recognise when children are asking for help – even if that is demonstrated by negative behaviours – but the impact of these behaviours on the whole family needs to be considered. Information Now say that In the past two generations, the number of children being cared for by their grandparents has increased substantially from 33% to 82% - almost two-thirds of all grandparents regularly look after their grandchildren. The UK Government add that 41% of mothers are working full time so it's clear that grandparents are spending more time with their grandchildren than ever before. There are myriad reasons for this including the changing demographics of an ageing population where many grandparents are now more physically active so spending time with grandparents can be more fulfilling than in the past (anyone else remember sitting in silence listening to the adults talk and drink team and hoping it would be time to go home soon?) But for all those positives, abuse of older people is a negative that's featuring more and more in research and in the news. Whilst several studies on both domestic abuse and elder abuse victimisation have reported that adult sons or grandsons, and a smaller proportion of adult daughters or granddaughters, are perpetrators in around half of all abuse against older adults (see Bows et al . 2022), there is little research into abuse by grandchildren who are aged under 18. One reason for this is likely to be the reluctance, by family members, professionals and society as a whole, to label children as 'perpetrators' or 'abusers Parents experiencing abuse from children have told PEGS that the abuse most commonly starts before the age of six and often continues post the child turning 18. It is probable that some children who display abusive behaviours towards parents will also abuse their grandparents but it's possible that some children abuse grandparents only. What is pretty much definite is that grandparents will feel the same emotions as parents if a child is abusing them – shame, guilt, worry about consequences of speaking out and concerned about causing problems within the family, especially if they appear to be the only targets of the abuse. It's also common to look for a reason for the abuse, something that has happened to the child perhaps or something that the grandparent has/hasn't done and to try to rationalise the abuse. As well as more research, there needs to be more recognition from organisations working with older people – statutory and voluntary – that Child to Parent Abuse can and does include children abusing grandparents and those grandparents need support. Abuse from a child is often no less dangerous than abuse from an adult so it shouldn't be laughed off or seen as grandparents not having enough 'control' over their grandchildren. More awareness of the issue, more open discussions and acknowledgement of the impact of this type of abuse will hopefully lead to appropriate support for grandparents who come forward to ask for help, and more of them doing so. Amanda Warburton-Wynn is an independent researcher and consultant specialising in support for domestic abuse and sexual violence survivors with disabilities and older people. You can find out more about Amanda and her work on her website www.awdaconsultancy.com