16 Days of Activism - Day 7 - Sharon Livermore

PEGS Admin • November 30, 2023

Domestic Abuse Education was founded by Sharon Livermore, domestic abuse survivor. Since almost

losing her life in November 2015 Sharon has dedicated her career to raising awareness of domestic

abuse. Her work includes but is not limited to, setting up two businesses, co-creating “Sharon’s

Policy”, a domestic abuse policy, and guidance notes, available to download free of charge to

businesses nationwide; and most recently setting up a CPD training course which enables employees

to gain a CPD accreditation but most importantly provides employees with in-depth education on

domestic abuse and how the workplace can support. Did you know 75% of employees who

experience DA are targeted at the workplace by their abusive partner? The 16 Days of Activism and

White Ribbon Campaigns service as powerful tools for raising awareness about the prevalence and

consequence of gender-based violence. By participating in and promoting these initiatives, we can

educate employees, network, and partners about these critical issues which ultimately create a

greater understanding of the need for change. Through raising awareness and committing to better

understanding domestic abuse we can collectively lower shocking statistics, including the one above,

change lives and change the associated stigma and taboo that comes with domestic abuse. Domestic

Abuse Education seeks to help businesses understand that domestic abuse is very much a workplace

issue, once you understand this, the phrase “knowledge is power” really comes to life; once you’re

educated you won’t forget what you’re told, your perception of domestic abuse will be forever

altered, and you will feel empowered to support current, past, or future victims in your workplace.

The depth of support you provide is ultimately down to you, for men, the White Ribbon Promise is a

great start. For everyone, irrespective of gender, a Domestic Abuse Policy you understand and the

confidence to signpost are two simple yet life-changing actions every business can manage.


Domestic Abuse Education has a sister company, Kameo Recruitment, the men in the Kameo

Recruitment team took the White Ribbon promise earlier this year, you can read more about that

here. In short, the White Ribbon Promise is a public pledge to never commit, excuse or remain silent

about violence against women. Once the promise has been taken it signifies a personal commitment

to actively stand against gender-based violence and support survivors; this simple commitment can

alter lives, shape conversations amongst men around gender-based violence and help break the

cycle of abuse.

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When Words Hurt – Facing Verbal Abuse from Your Child There are few things more emotionally painful than hearing cruel, dismissive or demeaning words from your own child. Whether they’re still under your roof or are well into adulthood, being spoken to in a verbally abusive way by the very person you raised with love and care can leave parents feeling confused, heartbroken and alone. It's not something we often talk about openly. Parents may fear being judged or blamed or they may question whether their experience is even valid. But verbal abuse from a child whether they’re 14 or 40 - is real and it matters. If you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of shouting, insults, blame or emotional manipulation from your child, this space is for you. You are not alone. Verbal abuse can take many forms and not all of them are loud or obvious. Some common examples include: Repeated criticism or personal attacks Name-calling, sarcasm or mockery Shouting or aggressive tone Gaslighting or manipulation (“You’re imagining it” / “You always make it about you”) Blame-shifting and emotional guilt trips Intimidating silence or threats These behaviours, especially when ongoing, can leave emotional bruises that are hard to explain to others or even to ourselves. For many parents, the verbal abuse doesn’t start all at once. It might begin as eye-rolling, snide remarks or even sudden mood swings. But over time, those moments become more frequent, more intense, more targeted. The home no longer feels like a place of peace. Interactions start to feel unsafe. “She speaks to me like I’m her enemy. I raised her with love, but now I feel like nothing I do is ever right in her eyes” -Mum to a 17-year-old daughter “I dread phone calls from my adult son. He rings only to shout and unload on me. I hang up shaking every single time” -Dad of a 33-year-old son “My teenager calls me names I wouldn't repeat in front of anyone. It’s like living with someone who hates me,I feel ashamed saying that” - Parent of a 15-year-old “I never thought I’d have to protect myself emotionally from my own child. But here I am trying to keep my boundaries and stay sane” - Mum to a 28-year-old daughter These words reflect a growing reality for many families... a reality that often gets hidden behind closed doors. When verbal abuse comes from a stranger it’s unpleasant. When it comes from your own child , the one you’ve fed, cared for, worried over, and loved unconditionally - it can feel like a betrayal. Parents often experience a mix of emotions: Shock and disbelief – “How did it get to this?” Shame – “Am I the only one dealing with this?” Guilt – “What did I do wrong?” Fear or anxiety – Dreading the next conversation or interaction Loneliness – Feeling unable to share the experience without judgement You may also feel torn between wanting to keep the connection and needing to protect your emotional wellbeing. It’s often assumed that once children reach adulthood, their relationship with their parents will naturally shift into one of mutual respect. But this isn’t always the case. Some adult children continue (or begin) to speak to their parents in ways that are controlling, hurtful or emotionally volatile. These interactions may be laced with some kind of resentment, blame for past decisions or expectations of endless emotional or financial support. In these situations, many parents struggle with a sense of powerlessness. After all, you can’t “ground” a 30-year-old. But your emotional safety still matters and it’s okay to acknowledge when something isn’t right. You can love your child deeply and still feel the pain of being treated unkindly. You can want healing and still need space. You can seek support without shame. Even in the face of verbal abuse, your worth as a parent does not diminish. You are still deserving of respect, of peace and of a life where you’re not walking on eggshells in your own home or heart. If your child is speaking to you in ways that hurt. If you feel exhausted, blamed or disrespected, you are not overreacting. If you find yourself dreading their calls or presence, you are not alone. You can love your child and still take care of yourself. You are worthy of respect. You are allowed to feel safe. And you are not alone.
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