16 Days of Activism - Day 7 - Sharon Livermore

PEGS Admin • Nov 30, 2023

Domestic Abuse Education was founded by Sharon Livermore, domestic abuse survivor. Since almost

losing her life in November 2015 Sharon has dedicated her career to raising awareness of domestic

abuse. Her work includes but is not limited to, setting up two businesses, co-creating “Sharon’s

Policy”, a domestic abuse policy, and guidance notes, available to download free of charge to

businesses nationwide; and most recently setting up a CPD training course which enables employees

to gain a CPD accreditation but most importantly provides employees with in-depth education on

domestic abuse and how the workplace can support. Did you know 75% of employees who

experience DA are targeted at the workplace by their abusive partner? The 16 Days of Activism and

White Ribbon Campaigns service as powerful tools for raising awareness about the prevalence and

consequence of gender-based violence. By participating in and promoting these initiatives, we can

educate employees, network, and partners about these critical issues which ultimately create a

greater understanding of the need for change. Through raising awareness and committing to better

understanding domestic abuse we can collectively lower shocking statistics, including the one above,

change lives and change the associated stigma and taboo that comes with domestic abuse. Domestic

Abuse Education seeks to help businesses understand that domestic abuse is very much a workplace

issue, once you understand this, the phrase “knowledge is power” really comes to life; once you’re

educated you won’t forget what you’re told, your perception of domestic abuse will be forever

altered, and you will feel empowered to support current, past, or future victims in your workplace.

The depth of support you provide is ultimately down to you, for men, the White Ribbon Promise is a

great start. For everyone, irrespective of gender, a Domestic Abuse Policy you understand and the

confidence to signpost are two simple yet life-changing actions every business can manage.

Domestic Abuse Education has a sister company, Kameo Recruitment, the men in the Kameo

Recruitment team took the White Ribbon promise earlier this year, you can read more about that

here. In short, the White Ribbon Promise is a public pledge to never commit, excuse or remain silent

about violence against women. Once the promise has been taken it signifies a personal commitment

to actively stand against gender-based violence and support survivors; this simple commitment can

alter lives, shape conversations amongst men around gender-based violence and help break the

cycle of abuse.

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Grandparents can be abused too.

By Amanda Warburton-Wynn • 03 May, 2024

'Oh, we love having the grandchildren, especially because we can give them back!' How many times have you heard that? But have you heard 'We dread our grandchild coming to visit, we never feel safe until they've gone home'? Child to Parent Abuse is increasingly a topic of research but there is currently no formal definition and, if the consultation carried out by the Home Office in 2023 results in one, it's likely that grandparents won't get a mention in the main title. Of course, the age of grandparents can vary hugely but for those in the older age groups abuse from a child can be hard to understand and even harder to speak about. Whilst in many cases abusive behaviours are not linked to a health or mental health issue, some of the diagnoses involved in some cases of child to parent abuse weren't known until fairly recent times – ADHD was first recognised when mentioned in a National Institution of Clinical Excellence (NICE) report in 2000! Children who we now categorise as being victims of abuse and trauma were often just seen as 'naughty' back in the day and their behaviour needed to be dealt with by punishment. It's essential that we now recognise when children are asking for help – even if that is demonstrated by negative behaviours – but the impact of these behaviours on the whole family needs to be considered. Information Now say that In the past two generations, the number of children being cared for by their grandparents has increased substantially from 33% to 82% - almost two-thirds of all grandparents regularly look after their grandchildren. The UK Government add that 41% of mothers are working full time so it's clear that grandparents are spending more time with their grandchildren than ever before. There are myriad reasons for this including the changing demographics of an ageing population where many grandparents are now more physically active so spending time with grandparents can be more fulfilling than in the past (anyone else remember sitting in silence listening to the adults talk and drink team and hoping it would be time to go home soon?) But for all those positives, abuse of older people is a negative that's featuring more and more in research and in the news. Whilst several studies on both domestic abuse and elder abuse victimisation have reported that adult sons or grandsons, and a smaller proportion of adult daughters or granddaughters, are perpetrators in around half of all abuse against older adults (see Bows et al . 2022), there is little research into abuse by grandchildren who are aged under 18. One reason for this is likely to be the reluctance, by family members, professionals and society as a whole, to label children as 'perpetrators' or 'abusers Parents experiencing abuse from children have told PEGS that the abuse most commonly starts before the age of six and often continues post the child turning 18. It is probable that some children who display abusive behaviours towards parents will also abuse their grandparents but it's possible that some children abuse grandparents only. What is pretty much definite is that grandparents will feel the same emotions as parents if a child is abusing them – shame, guilt, worry about consequences of speaking out and concerned about causing problems within the family, especially if they appear to be the only targets of the abuse. It's also common to look for a reason for the abuse, something that has happened to the child perhaps or something that the grandparent has/hasn't done and to try to rationalise the abuse. As well as more research, there needs to be more recognition from organisations working with older people – statutory and voluntary – that Child to Parent Abuse can and does include children abusing grandparents and those grandparents need support. Abuse from a child is often no less dangerous than abuse from an adult so it shouldn't be laughed off or seen as grandparents not having enough 'control' over their grandchildren. More awareness of the issue, more open discussions and acknowledgement of the impact of this type of abuse will hopefully lead to appropriate support for grandparents who come forward to ask for help, and more of them doing so. Amanda Warburton-Wynn is an independent researcher and consultant specialising in support for domestic abuse and sexual violence survivors with disabilities and older people. You can find out more about Amanda and her work on her website www.awdaconsultancy.com