Sons who abuse and kill their mothers
This Trigger warning.
This post will link to an article about sons who abuse and ultimately kill their mothers. Please take care if you read this.
A recent report by the Femicide Census has revealed a harrowing statistic: over the past 15 years, more than 170 mothers in the UK have been killed by their sons, accounting for nearly 10% of all women killed by men during this period. We cannot ignore this any longer.
Change is not just necessary—it is overdue.
While domestic abuse is widely acknowledged, CPA continues to be shrouded in stigma and misunderstanding. Many parents suffer in silence, fearful of judgment, ashamed to seek help, or simply unaware that support exists.
The recent Femicide Census report highlighted that mental ill health played a role in 58% of matricides, with factors such as substance abuse, lack of affordable housing, and misogyny also contributing. These findings emphasise the complex interplay of issues that can lead to such tragic outcomes.
Despite these complexities, the systems in place to identify and respond to CPA are failing.
MARAC chairs and attendees acknowledge that existing frameworks do not adequately support parents experiencing abuse from their child. Yet instead of alternative solutions, there is often inaction. Abuse is dismissed because it is committed by a son or daughter, and the responsibility is placed back onto parents—most often mothers—to continue providing support, even when they fear for their lives.
These mothers and parents are all around us—our family members, friends, neighbours, colleagues. They are the people we see every day in our communities, in the shops, at the bus stop. They are also the ones we no longer see—those who have withdrawn, disappeared from social activities, or are too afraid to ask for help.
They could be you.
One of the greatest challenges in tackling CPA is breaking the cycle of silence and stigma. Parents facing abuse from their children often feel isolated, believing that no one will understand or that seeking help might result in judgment or even the removal of their child from the home. It is vital that we create a culture where parents can speak out without fear and access the resources they need without shame.
We must also recognise that CPA is not a niche issue—it is happening in homes across the country, often unnoticed. These parents should not have to suffer alone. It is our collective responsibility to acknowledge their experiences, ensure that they are seen, and provide them with the support they desperately need
We understand that this issue is complex, that it doesn’t fit neatly into existing structures, and that many professionals are doing their best in a broken system. But we cannot keep repeating the same ineffective responses. We acknowledge the problem, we say we need to do better, and yet we continue as we always have. This is not just unhelpful—it is unsafe. Without urgent change to policies, frameworks, and practice, lives will continue to be lost.
Most parents do not want to criminalise their child—no matter their age. We must start identifying child-to-parent abuse earlier, long before it escalates to crisis. It is rarely a problem that begins in adulthood, and that means we have opportunities to intervene sooner. The time for change is now.
For almost five years, PEGS has been raising awareness, developing training, and advocating for a better approach to CPA. But we cannot do this alone. We need all of you—professionals, policymakers, and communities—to stand with us. We know the system is failing you too. Let’s work together to create the change that is so desperately needed.
Today, our hearts are heavy. Please take time to reflect, to check in on those you love and care about. The entire PEGS team stands with the families affected by this tragic loss of life.
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