Parent survey reveals extent and impact of CPA

PEGS has revealed the results of its second parent survey, undertaken in the latter part of 2022.

The report, which you can download below, shows the types of abuse being experienced in households where CPA is occurring, its impact on parents, and the level of professional support people feel they are receiving.

Download Report

We have also released the following in relation to our findings:

A quarter of parents experiencing abuse from their own child say the violent, harmful or coercive behaviours began before the age of six.

Despite a commonly-held misconception that teenagers are responsible for the majority of Child to Parent Abuse cases, this is the second year in a row that a survey undertaken by social enterprise PEGS revealed many parents experiencing physical, verbal or other forms of abuse when their child was five or younger.

There has been an increase in awareness around this form of domestic abuse in recent years – with the PEGS team working with more than 3,000 parents across the UK and training hundreds of frontline professionals.

As part of their efforts to educate decision-makers and shine a light on Child to Parent Abuse, the team asked parents to share an insight into the behaviours they’re experiencing, the impact of these behaviours, and what type of professional support they’ve requested.

The Winter 2022 survey (the second of its kind run by PEGS) showed a worrying two thirds of parents have had to call the police to de-escalate at least one incident (a rise from 57% in the previous year’s survey), and a quarter have called police at least five times because of fears over their safety.

Child to Parent Abuse can take many forms including physical, verbal, economic, digital, and coercion. Traditionally, this type of domestic abuse was thought to be most prevalent among teenagers – but research and anecdotal evidence now shows abuse is more likely to start earlier on in life, and there are also a proportion of adult offspring (18+) abusing their parents.

Other findings from the anonymous survey included:

· More than half of parents report being physically attacked at least once a week.

· 74% of working parents have had to reduce their hours or leave work altogether because of the abuse they are experiencing at home.

· 30% changed their mind about contacting a professional in case their other children were taken away.

· Sexualised behaviours (including using explicit language) are being experienced by 17% of respondents.

· 13% of children have tried to strangle or suffocate another child living in the home.

· Almost half of respondents struggled with abuse for at least three years before seeking outside help.

· 68% didn’t feel they received the help they needed when they contacted a professional.

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August Spotlight: Verbal Abuse

By PEGS Admin • August 19, 2025

When Words Hurt – Facing Verbal Abuse from Your Child There are few things more emotionally painful than hearing cruel, dismissive or demeaning words from your own child. Whether they’re still under your roof or are well into adulthood, being spoken to in a verbally abusive way by the very person you raised with love and care can leave parents feeling confused, heartbroken and alone. It's not something we often talk about openly. Parents may fear being judged or blamed or they may question whether their experience is even valid. But verbal abuse from a child whether they’re 14 or 40 - is real and it matters. If you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of shouting, insults, blame or emotional manipulation from your child, this space is for you. You are not alone. Verbal abuse can take many forms and not all of them are loud or obvious. Some common examples include: Repeated criticism or personal attacks Name-calling, sarcasm or mockery Shouting or aggressive tone Gaslighting or manipulation (“You’re imagining it” / “You always make it about you”) Blame-shifting and emotional guilt trips Intimidating silence or threats These behaviours, especially when ongoing, can leave emotional bruises that are hard to explain to others or even to ourselves. For many parents, the verbal abuse doesn’t start all at once. It might begin as eye-rolling, snide remarks or even sudden mood swings. But over time, those moments become more frequent, more intense, more targeted. The home no longer feels like a place of peace. Interactions start to feel unsafe. “She speaks to me like I’m her enemy. I raised her with love, but now I feel like nothing I do is ever right in her eyes” -Mum to a 17-year-old daughter “I dread phone calls from my adult son. He rings only to shout and unload on me. I hang up shaking every single time” -Dad of a 33-year-old son “My teenager calls me names I wouldn't repeat in front of anyone. It’s like living with someone who hates me,I feel ashamed saying that” - Parent of a 15-year-old “I never thought I’d have to protect myself emotionally from my own child. But here I am trying to keep my boundaries and stay sane” - Mum to a 28-year-old daughter These words reflect a growing reality for many families... a reality that often gets hidden behind closed doors. When verbal abuse comes from a stranger it’s unpleasant. When it comes from your own child , the one you’ve fed, cared for, worried over, and loved unconditionally - it can feel like a betrayal. Parents often experience a mix of emotions: Shock and disbelief – “How did it get to this?” Shame – “Am I the only one dealing with this?” Guilt – “What did I do wrong?” Fear or anxiety – Dreading the next conversation or interaction Loneliness – Feeling unable to share the experience without judgement You may also feel torn between wanting to keep the connection and needing to protect your emotional wellbeing. It’s often assumed that once children reach adulthood, their relationship with their parents will naturally shift into one of mutual respect. But this isn’t always the case. Some adult children continue (or begin) to speak to their parents in ways that are controlling, hurtful or emotionally volatile. These interactions may be laced with some kind of resentment, blame for past decisions or expectations of endless emotional or financial support. In these situations, many parents struggle with a sense of powerlessness. After all, you can’t “ground” a 30-year-old. But your emotional safety still matters and it’s okay to acknowledge when something isn’t right. You can love your child deeply and still feel the pain of being treated unkindly. You can want healing and still need space. You can seek support without shame. Even in the face of verbal abuse, your worth as a parent does not diminish. You are still deserving of respect, of peace and of a life where you’re not walking on eggshells in your own home or heart. If your child is speaking to you in ways that hurt. If you feel exhausted, blamed or disrespected, you are not overreacting. If you find yourself dreading their calls or presence, you are not alone. You can love your child and still take care of yourself. You are worthy of respect. You are allowed to feel safe. And you are not alone.