Parent survey reveals extent and impact of CPA

PEGS has revealed the results of its second parent survey, undertaken in the latter part of 2022.

The report, which you can download below, shows the types of abuse being experienced in households where CPA is occurring, its impact on parents, and the level of professional support people feel they are receiving.

Download Report

We have also released the following in relation to our findings:

A quarter of parents experiencing abuse from their own child say the violent, harmful or coercive behaviours began before the age of six.

Despite a commonly-held misconception that teenagers are responsible for the majority of Child to Parent Abuse cases, this is the second year in a row that a survey undertaken by social enterprise PEGS revealed many parents experiencing physical, verbal or other forms of abuse when their child was five or younger.

There has been an increase in awareness around this form of domestic abuse in recent years – with the PEGS team working with more than 3,000 parents across the UK and training hundreds of frontline professionals.

As part of their efforts to educate decision-makers and shine a light on Child to Parent Abuse, the team asked parents to share an insight into the behaviours they’re experiencing, the impact of these behaviours, and what type of professional support they’ve requested.

The Winter 2022 survey (the second of its kind run by PEGS) showed a worrying two thirds of parents have had to call the police to de-escalate at least one incident (a rise from 57% in the previous year’s survey), and a quarter have called police at least five times because of fears over their safety.

Child to Parent Abuse can take many forms including physical, verbal, economic, digital, and coercion. Traditionally, this type of domestic abuse was thought to be most prevalent among teenagers – but research and anecdotal evidence now shows abuse is more likely to start earlier on in life, and there are also a proportion of adult offspring (18+) abusing their parents.

Other findings from the anonymous survey included:

· More than half of parents report being physically attacked at least once a week.

· 74% of working parents have had to reduce their hours or leave work altogether because of the abuse they are experiencing at home.

· 30% changed their mind about contacting a professional in case their other children were taken away.

· Sexualised behaviours (including using explicit language) are being experienced by 17% of respondents.

· 13% of children have tried to strangle or suffocate another child living in the home.

· Almost half of respondents struggled with abuse for at least three years before seeking outside help.

· 68% didn’t feel they received the help they needed when they contacted a professional.

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Grandparents can be abused too.

By Amanda Warburton-Wynn • 03 May, 2024

'Oh, we love having the grandchildren, especially because we can give them back!' How many times have you heard that? But have you heard 'We dread our grandchild coming to visit, we never feel safe until they've gone home'? Child to Parent Abuse is increasingly a topic of research but there is currently no formal definition and, if the consultation carried out by the Home Office in 2023 results in one, it's likely that grandparents won't get a mention in the main title. Of course, the age of grandparents can vary hugely but for those in the older age groups abuse from a child can be hard to understand and even harder to speak about. Whilst in many cases abusive behaviours are not linked to a health or mental health issue, some of the diagnoses involved in some cases of child to parent abuse weren't known until fairly recent times – ADHD was first recognised when mentioned in a National Institution of Clinical Excellence (NICE) report in 2000! Children who we now categorise as being victims of abuse and trauma were often just seen as 'naughty' back in the day and their behaviour needed to be dealt with by punishment. It's essential that we now recognise when children are asking for help – even if that is demonstrated by negative behaviours – but the impact of these behaviours on the whole family needs to be considered. Information Now say that In the past two generations, the number of children being cared for by their grandparents has increased substantially from 33% to 82% - almost two-thirds of all grandparents regularly look after their grandchildren. The UK Government add that 41% of mothers are working full time so it's clear that grandparents are spending more time with their grandchildren than ever before. There are myriad reasons for this including the changing demographics of an ageing population where many grandparents are now more physically active so spending time with grandparents can be more fulfilling than in the past (anyone else remember sitting in silence listening to the adults talk and drink team and hoping it would be time to go home soon?) But for all those positives, abuse of older people is a negative that's featuring more and more in research and in the news. Whilst several studies on both domestic abuse and elder abuse victimisation have reported that adult sons or grandsons, and a smaller proportion of adult daughters or granddaughters, are perpetrators in around half of all abuse against older adults (see Bows et al . 2022), there is little research into abuse by grandchildren who are aged under 18. One reason for this is likely to be the reluctance, by family members, professionals and society as a whole, to label children as 'perpetrators' or 'abusers Parents experiencing abuse from children have told PEGS that the abuse most commonly starts before the age of six and often continues post the child turning 18. It is probable that some children who display abusive behaviours towards parents will also abuse their grandparents but it's possible that some children abuse grandparents only. What is pretty much definite is that grandparents will feel the same emotions as parents if a child is abusing them – shame, guilt, worry about consequences of speaking out and concerned about causing problems within the family, especially if they appear to be the only targets of the abuse. It's also common to look for a reason for the abuse, something that has happened to the child perhaps or something that the grandparent has/hasn't done and to try to rationalise the abuse. As well as more research, there needs to be more recognition from organisations working with older people – statutory and voluntary – that Child to Parent Abuse can and does include children abusing grandparents and those grandparents need support. Abuse from a child is often no less dangerous than abuse from an adult so it shouldn't be laughed off or seen as grandparents not having enough 'control' over their grandchildren. More awareness of the issue, more open discussions and acknowledgement of the impact of this type of abuse will hopefully lead to appropriate support for grandparents who come forward to ask for help, and more of them doing so. Amanda Warburton-Wynn is an independent researcher and consultant specialising in support for domestic abuse and sexual violence survivors with disabilities and older people. You can find out more about Amanda and her work on her website www.awdaconsultancy.com