When people think about Child to Parent Abuse (CPA), they often forget about the impact it has on siblings.

Sibling abuse is something we hear about far more often than people realise. In fact, 50% of parental figures who took part in our 2023 report told us that there were other children in the home being directly impacted.

When one child uses abusive behaviours towards a sibling, it doesn’t stay “between them”. It affects the whole household with a bounce on impact to careers, education, social life and also relationships.

The hidden impact on families

Many PEGS parents describe feeling torn between protecting one child from abuse while also managing abusive behaviours directed at themselves. When feeling this way, it’s often hard to know where to turn for support.

Sibling abuse can take many forms and may happen alongside abusive behaviours towards a parental figure. We often hear from many of PEGS’ parents on what this looks like for them. 

In the cases from our 2023 report, where other children in the home were targeted, the behaviours were reported as follows:

• Hitting or kicking (43% of respondents said siblings had experienced this in their home)

• Strangling or suffocating (13%)

• Verbal abuse (56%)

• Sexual abuse (1%)

• Threatening (46%)

• Intimidation (47%)

Sibling abuse is often minimised and parents are frequently told that it’s “just siblings falling out” or that it’s "normal behaviour”. This is the type of response that dismisses many families who are seeking support.

When sibling abuse is recognised as part of CPA, it can help professionals realise the true impact it has on the wider family - leading to more effective responses.

It’s important to keep in mind that these behaviours are not “normal sibling rivalry”.

If sibling abuse is occurring alongside Child to Parent Abuse, you are not alone, and support is available. 

Whether it is PEGS who supports you, or another organisation. There are many different ways of support.

Us at PEGS, solely support parents and carers experiencing Child to Parent Abuse, including when siblings are impacted. Our support includes practitioner-led sessions, workshops, peer support and bespoke workshops and group programmes. Just because we don’t work directly with children, doesn't mean we believe children don’t matter - we just believe parental figures matter too. 

Sibs
Sibs is a charity supporting siblings of disabled children and adults. They offer free information, advice and support that can be helpful for siblings affected by complex family dynamics. They have many great resources on their website, which you can take a look at by visiting: https://www.sibs.org.uk/ 

Family Lives
Family Lives is another fantastic organisation PEGS works with, who provides free, confidential support for families, including advice around sibling relationships, behaviour, and emotional wellbeing. They too, have many resources available : https://www.familylives.org.uk/

We know it’s not always easy to find the right support for you and your family. This is where the Hub of Hope can really help. While it isn’t specialised specifically in sibling abuse, it is a free and brilliant tool that brings together support services from across the UK, helping you find the right help in your local area. The Hub of Hope doesn’t run its own helpline, but it clearly signposts to trusted, 24/7 support options including Shout, a free text helpline you can contact any time by texting 85258. It also includes many fantastic, free mental health resources that you can explore at your own pace, when you’re ready: https://hubofhope.co.uk/