March Spotlight: Coercion and Control

Understanding Coercion and Control in Child-to-Parent Abuse

Child-to-parent abuse is a deeply challenging and often hidden issue, with 85% of our parents’

reporting experiences of coercion and control. This form of abuse can be emotionally,

psychologically, and even physically devastating. Understanding coercive control and recognising its

signs is essential for empowering parents to seek support and reclaim their safety, wellbeing and

confidence.

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour where someone personally connected to you repeatedly

acts in ways that make you feel controlled, dependent, isolated, humiliated, or scared. While often

discussed in the context of domestic abuse between partners, coercive control is increasingly

recognised as a significant factor in child-to-parent abuse.

For parents, this can mean feeling trapped in a cycle of fear, unable to set boundaries or parent

effectively due to ongoing manipulation and intimidation from their child.

Coercive control can manifest in many ways, including:

Isolation: Preventing you from seeing friends and family or discouraging you from seeking

help.

Financial Control: Dictating how much money you have, how you spend it, or even stealing

from you.

Humiliation & Degradation: Insulting, belittling, or shaming you to lower your confidence

and self-worth.

Monitoring & Surveillance: Keeping track of your movements, phone activity, or social

interactions.

Threats & Intimidation: Threatening to harm or kill you, others, or pets to maintain control.

Emotional Blackmail: Threatening to share personal information or making false allegations

unless demands are met.

Destruction of Property: Damaging your belongings or home as a form of punishment or

control.

Gaslighting: Making you doubt your own perception of reality, questioning your memory or

feelings.

Forced Criminal Activity: Coercing you into illegal acts against your will.

Blame-Shifting: Justifying their behaviour by blaming you, e.g ; 'If you did what I wanted, I

wouldn’t have to act this way'

Living with coercive and controlling behaviours can leave parents feeling exhausted, anxious, and

powerless. Many experience guilt and shame, believing they have failed as parents. However, it is

vital to recognise that no parent deserves to live in fear, and seeking support is not a sign of

weakness—it is an act of strength.

Coercion and control in child-to-parent abuse is a difficult reality, but with awareness of the signs

and impact for parental figures, professionals can help parents to regain their strength and

confidence.

If you are experiencing this form of behaviour, remember: this is not your fault, help is available and

if PEGS is right for you, there are various support options we can offer.

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Allen Lane Foundation Supports New Workshop Lead Role to Expand Support for Parents

By PEGS Admin • March 18, 2026

We are thrilled to announce that the Allen Lane Foundation has generously funded a new Workshop Lead role to coordinate and deliver online workshops for parents and carers affected by Child-to-Parent Abuse (CPA) over the next 12 months. Parents and carers affected by CPA are often isolated, unsupported, and unsure where to turn. Our 2024 survey shows that 96% of parents feel isolated, 94% stressed, 92% scared, and 100% report an impact on emotional wellbeing. Over 70% have had to reduce or leave work. With demand for support rising to over 450 referrals per month and a 116% increase in November 2025 there is an urgent need for structured, accessible help. Expanding Online Workshops and 1:1 Support The new Workshop Lead will deliver a weekly online workshop for up to 15 participants, covering practical and emotional wellbeing topics such as stress management, goal-setting, and specialist techniques like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Alongside the weekly sessions, the project will also run: Bi-monthly two-part specialist workshops Monthly wellbeing workshops By taking the lead on workshop delivery, the Workshop Lead will free up our practitioner team to provide more personalised one-to-one support to high-risk parents, reaching an additional estimated 50 parents in need. Over 12 months, we anticipate that over 200 parents will benefit directly from group workshops, gaining tools to manage risk, improve emotional wellbeing, reduce stress, and build confidence. The workshops will also create a safe space for peer connection, helping to reduce isolation and foster resilience. Measuring Impact We will track success through attendance figures, participant feedback, and pre- and post-workshop surveys to capture changes in confidence, coping strategies, and wellbeing. Practitioners will also monitor the effect of increased one-to-one support to ensure parents feel safer, supported, and better able to manage their situation. Michelle John, our founding director, says: "Allen Lane Foundation’s continued support enables us to reach more parents and provide the practical guidance and personal support they urgently need. This Workshop Lead role will make a real difference, helping parents feel safer, more confident, and connected, while allowing our practitioners to provide targeted one-to-one support where it’s needed most." We are incredibly grateful to the Allen Lane Foundation for their ongoing belief in our work. This funding allows us to expand our online support, reach more parents, and provide both group and personalised assistance for those affected by CPA.