March Spotlight: Coercion and Control

Understanding Coercion and Control in Child-to-Parent Abuse

Child-to-parent abuse is a deeply challenging and often hidden issue, with 85% of our parents’

reporting experiences of coercion and control. This form of abuse can be emotionally,

psychologically, and even physically devastating. Understanding coercive control and recognising its

signs is essential for empowering parents to seek support and reclaim their safety, wellbeing and

confidence.

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour where someone personally connected to you repeatedly

acts in ways that make you feel controlled, dependent, isolated, humiliated, or scared. While often

discussed in the context of domestic abuse between partners, coercive control is increasingly

recognised as a significant factor in child-to-parent abuse.

For parents, this can mean feeling trapped in a cycle of fear, unable to set boundaries or parent

effectively due to ongoing manipulation and intimidation from their child.

Coercive control can manifest in many ways, including:

Isolation: Preventing you from seeing friends and family or discouraging you from seeking

help.

Financial Control: Dictating how much money you have, how you spend it, or even stealing

from you.

Humiliation & Degradation: Insulting, belittling, or shaming you to lower your confidence

and self-worth.

Monitoring & Surveillance: Keeping track of your movements, phone activity, or social

interactions.

Threats & Intimidation: Threatening to harm or kill you, others, or pets to maintain control.

Emotional Blackmail: Threatening to share personal information or making false allegations

unless demands are met.

Destruction of Property: Damaging your belongings or home as a form of punishment or

control.

Gaslighting: Making you doubt your own perception of reality, questioning your memory or

feelings.

Forced Criminal Activity: Coercing you into illegal acts against your will.

Blame-Shifting: Justifying their behaviour by blaming you, e.g ; 'If you did what I wanted, I

wouldn’t have to act this way'

Living with coercive and controlling behaviours can leave parents feeling exhausted, anxious, and

powerless. Many experience guilt and shame, believing they have failed as parents. However, it is

vital to recognise that no parent deserves to live in fear, and seeking support is not a sign of

weakness—it is an act of strength.

Coercion and control in child-to-parent abuse is a difficult reality, but with awareness of the signs

and impact for parental figures, professionals can help parents to regain their strength and

confidence.

If you are experiencing this form of behaviour, remember: this is not your fault, help is available and

if PEGS is right for you, there are various support options we can offer.

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Founding Director, Michelle, has been awarded an MBE in the Kings Birthday Honours for Family Support and Advocacy.

By PEGS Admin • June 15, 2026

Child to Parent Abuse organisation founder awarded MBE The founder of a social enterprise which has supported thousands of parents impacted by abusive behaviours from their children has been awarded an MBE. Michelle John, originally from Pembrokeshire in Wales but now based in Shropshire, was among the names announced for the prestigious accolade in the King’s Birthday Honours List this year. In 2020, Michelle set up not-for-profit organisation PEGS with the aim of supporting parents and carers, training professionals, influencing local and national policy, and raising awareness of Child to Parent Abuse – which is thought to affect up to one in ten households in the UK. Since then, she has grown a team of experts who have trained police, social workers, teachers and many other professionals to better recognise the signs of CPA, support parents, and signpost to specialist organisations. In addition, Michelle set up a range of parent-focused initiatives including daily practitioner-led online sessions, a Facebook peer support group which now has 3,300 members, and one-to-one offerings for those at highest risk. PEGS launched a CPA Covenant for employers in partnership with the Department for Work and Pensions, only the fourth such covenant to be backed by the Government, and Michelle has advised everyone from the Home Office to Channel 4 and the BBC on CPA – the latter for storyline on Hollyoaks and EastEnders. Her work has seen CPA covered by journalists across television news programmes, national newspapers and magazine, and regional press and radio, and she’s received numerous awards both in the UK and internationally. Michelle, whose MBE was awarded for Family Support and Advocacy, said: “This honour is also shared with the parents who have trusted me along the way: they drive me, inspire me and I will always stand with them. “I feel proud, privileged and very grateful – and I’d like to thank everyone who has supported me and PEGS along the way. There is much more to come for PEGS, and we will continue to work every day for the parents and carers who have been or continue to be impacted by CPA. “There is so much to reflect on from the journey of the last six years, and there have been many highlights and challenges along the way. I am sure there will be many more in the future – although being told I’d received an MBE will always remain a truly incredible moment that I’ll remember forever!” For more information about us, visit www.pegsupport.co.uk or search for 'PEGS' on social media!