This month, we’re shining a light on gaslighting - a form of emotional and psychological manipulation that can have a deep and lasting impact, particularly within Child to Parent Abuse (CPA).

Gaslighting often creeps in quietly. It can sound like simple denial or dismissal, but over time it chips away at confidence, self-trust, and a parent’s sense of reality. Within CPA, this behaviour can blend into verbal, emotional, and even coercive or controlling actions - making it incredibly difficult to recognise, especially when it develops gradually.

Many parents we speak to describe feeling like they’re “walking on eggshells” - constantly second-guessing themselves, wondering if they’re remembering things wrong, or questioning if they’re the problem.

Here are a few phrases parents often hear:

“That never happened - you’re just imagining things”

“You’re always overreacting, you’re making it sound worse than it was”

“You’re too sensitive, give yourself a break”

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing”

“You’re crazy, I never said that”

Sometimes, it looks like something physical or verbal happening - maybe an object is broken, or a hurtful comment is made - but when the parent brings it up, it’s completely denied. That denial can leave them questioning their own memory of events.

Other times, a child might tell others, siblings, relatives, even professionals - that the parent is “lying” or “unstable.” This can make it even harder for parents to be believed or get the support they need.

Over time, this kind of manipulation can lead to confusion, anxiety, and isolation. Parents might find themselves apologising all the time, struggling to make decisions, or withdrawing from friends and family because they no longer trust their own judgment.

Sadly, false allegations are something we hear about far too often. Around 82% of parents who come to PEGS tell us they’ve experienced this as part of their journey.

Gaslighting is powerful because it’s not just about one argument or one incident - it’s about slowly eroding someone’s sense of self. It leaves parents feeling unseen, unheard, and unsure of what’s real. When this happens within a family, the emotional toll can be overwhelming.

If any of this feels familiar, it might help to pause and check in with yourself. You might be experiencing gaslighting if you often find yourself:

• Constantly second-guessing your own thoughts or feelings
  
  
• Feeling confused, anxious, or low
  
  
• Struggling to make decisions or trust your instincts
  
  
• Apologising frequently, even when you’ve done nothing wrong
  
  
• Pulling away from people you care about
  
  
• Feeling like you can’t trust your own memories
  
  

If this sounds like you, please know - you’re not alone. Many parents have felt the same way, and there is support available. Reaching out for help can be a really brave first step toward rebuilding your confidence and sense of self.