Frequently Asked Questions

Have a question about Child to Parent Abuse, getting support from PEGS, professional referrals, training or the Employer Covenant? We have answered some of the most common questions below to help you find the right information quickly.

Understanding Child to Parent Abuse

  • Child to Parent Abuse, often known as CPA, is when a child, young person or adult child uses harmful, threatening, controlling or abusive behaviour towards a parent, carer or guardian.

  • CPA can include physical, verbal, emotional, financial, digital, coercive or controlling behaviour. It can also include damage to property, threats, intimidation or behaviour that makes family members feel unsafe at home.

  • No. Arguments and difficult behaviour can happen in many families, but CPA involves behaviour that makes a parent, carer or guardian feel frightened, controlled, threatened or unsafe.

  • Yes. CPA can involve children, young people or adult children. Parents and carers can still experience abusive, threatening or controlling behaviour after their child has turned 18.

  • No. CPA is not caused by bad parenting. Many parents and carers experiencing CPA feel shame or blame, but you deserve support, understanding and practical help.

Getting Support From PEGS

  • PEGS supports parents, carers and guardians who are experiencing Child to Parent Abuse.

  • PEGS supports parents, carers and guardians. We do not work directly with the child displaying CPA behaviours.

  • To access support, parents and carers need to complete a self referral form. Once submitted, the PEGS team will review your information and guide you towards the most appropriate support.

  • The PEGS team will carefully review what you have shared and help guide you towards the support that best fits your situation.

  • You do not need to have everything figured out before asking for help. If behaviour at home feels frightening, controlling, threatening or unsafe, it is okay to reach out.

Referrals

  • Yes. Parents, carers and guardians can complete a self referral form to ask for support.

  • Yes. Professionals can refer parents, carers and guardians to PEGS if they are experiencing Child to Parent Abuse.

  • No. You do not need to have proof or a full record of everything that has happened before asking for help.

  • Yes. CPA can affect families in many different circumstances. PEGS supports parents, carers and guardians experiencing CPA, including families where additional needs, mental health, trauma or other factors may be part of the picture.

Professionals, training and events

  • Professionals may notice a parent appearing anxious, fearful or reluctant to speak openly. There may be reports of threats, violence, damage to property, abuse towards siblings, or family life being controlled by the child’s behaviour.

  • Listen calmly, believe them, avoid blame and try to speak somewhere private. Do not tell the child what has been disclosed, as this could increase risk at home.

  • Not without careful consideration of risk and safeguarding procedures. If a child is told what a parent has shared, this could make things less safe for the parent, siblings or wider family.

  • Yes. PEGS offers information, training, resources and awareness sessions to help professionals and organisations better understand Child to Parent Abuse and respond safely.

  • Training may be useful for professionals working in safeguarding, domestic abuse, education, health, social care, housing, family support, HR, staff wellbeing or community services.

Employer Covenant

  • The Child to Parent Abuse Employer Covenant is a free pledge for organisations that want to recognise CPA as a form of domestic abuse and create safer, more informed workplaces.

  • The Covenant is open to organisations of all sizes and sectors, including businesses, charities, nonprofits, schools, local authorities, health and social care organisations and community groups.

  • Yes. The Employer Covenant is free to sign.

  • No. Organisations can sign whether they already have domestic abuse policies and training in place, or are just beginning to learn about CPA.

  • Organisations that sign the Covenant will receive information from PEGS and an invitation to introductory CPAC training for HR and staff wellbeing roles.

Safety and urgent help

  • If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999.

  • For non emergency police support, call 101. You can also visit the Useful Contacts page for other organisations that may be able to help.

  • Focus on safety first. If it is safe to do so, you may need to move to another room, leave the house for a short time, use coping strategies or wait until things are calmer before addressing the behaviour.

  • When things are calmer, it can help to record what happened, think about what helped or made things worse, update your safety plan and reach out for support.

Still have questions?

If you are experiencing Child to Parent Abuse or supporting someone who is, PEGS is here to help you find the right next step.

Contact us